so fucked up liver

so fucked up day starting with my freaking breakfast made upof thos instant pancit canton cause I donthave any food left in my fridge….and I just had some chocolates and a somecold water… my fridgeis so empty nothing inside but water and ice…. I don’t have anytime to purchase some foods… especially this week end.. I have to go to work, then to school and then I have to head towards makati to have some booze with some friends… cause one of them will be leaving soon… it’s like a farewell party… yeah actually it’s a farewell party… I just have to prepare my liver again…. If only I can have a liver transplant right now so that I can have a longer life…. it just feels like my liver is already giving up on me… have to stop boozing around.. I just cant do it… maybe I’ll stop when I start turning yellow all the way.. hahaha… I have to start drinking liver aide… wil it help??? I dont think anyone will believe that endorser… the rapper.. shit who looks like a freakazoid…..

renewed..............at last.............

I think my fucked up week is so over now… I just received some bonus in the office and I’m not in the mood of going to class but I have no choice I have to pass this shit.
Freaking things happened to me last week for instance somebody fucking stole my coin purse with my keys on it and I don’t care bout the bucks in there… the fucking thing is that I’m so paranoid that I spent some of my saving to change the locks in the house just because I’m that paranoid. Last Sunday in desperation to get drunk I bought my self a beer and a pack of cig’s just to feel more intoxicated… I usually don’t buy cig’s cause I ain’t a freaking chain smoker… I only smoke whenever there is beer and I’m in a booze… I really don’t want to be smoker… ever since small I hated smoke.. then back in undergrad most of my peers thought that I’m a smoker but they just couldn’t believe that I hate smokers.. but all of my friends smoke.. so it sounds so sarcastic for me to tell them that I hate smoke.,… I just hope that I can stop this freaking vice before I get hhoked to it.. fuckt the time in this PC is delayed it’s only 1:12 pm but in watch it’s already quarter to six… nothing more… I’ll just have booze after class…. Hahahah…..

struggle

pretensions wondering how many times have we met
how many rejections have we faced
still standing strong and martyrdom in our lives
fall out and go against the flow

free the soul from hypocrisy
believe in the ultimate advocacy
shout your thoughts
be heard be loud

hold tight and grip as if your drowning
shattered lives and still living it
no choice at all but to breath in and out
smoke, pollution, mind and body

struggle and be divine
all the prisoners of religion
hang on to faith
no one can reiterate you soul
no one can save you from self destruction….

KARMA

Lately I’ve been fucked hard by this thing that they call karma! Tangyna ka karma ka…..

I really don’t know… seems like this week is the worst week of my life….i just feel so fucking bad….maybe karma is trying to get back at me… for all those things that I did… people that I hurt…. And now I am hurting myself… just to feel the pain… just to remember how does it hurt… or maybe I’m just that fuck who deserves all this… I really don’t know what to do..maybe this will end if I’ll be gone…..back to hell

fooooooodaaahhhhhh!!!!

Food trip…
Last night I was scouting for a new pair of sneakers or any footwear… I dunno whydo I always want to buy an new pair of shoes or slippers …. I am looking for an off the wall slip on by vans… and just cant find any… I don’t want those imitations that are being sold in tiangge…. Freak… so I end up eating at chef d’ angelo at Robinsons metro east… I had a garlic mushroom burger and a German chocolate cheesecake……..damn the food was fucking sumptuous… the serving size I big enough to make me puke! I was so full that I haven’t been able to finish the slice of cheese cake…. I want to dine in there again tonight!

fucking up my mind

Fuck fuck fuck… to much shit is happening at this point of my life… first I entered graduate school and I had a full load… and I’m working and I’m going to school…the freaky thing is that I’m not the same student… as before…. I’d rather sleep than chat with my classmates or maybe because I’m just tired… coming from work then going to school is fucking tiring… and now I have to think about my thesis this early so that everything will go smooth as much as possible… the problem is I don’t know if I will continue the study that I had back in undergrad….lots and lots of things fucking up my mind right now… sadly I am the only one who can fix all this stuffs and I’d rather take it alone than ask other people to help me on this… maybe I’ll just booze this weekend so that I can have a clearer picture… ahahahahhahaha….

Feeling Music critique…….

Lately I’ve been listening to lots of stuffs…. Bands……and definitely rock….here are some of my faves and thoughts...... be patient in reading this crap....

COHEED AND CAMBRIA
DEFINITELY one of the most creative bands I’ve ever heard… high pitch voice is a different thing….calling themselves SHABUTIE before they were known as COHEED AND CAMBRIA.. if you have been able to hear that song… with words sounding like…. “BYE BYE BEAUTIFUL” they are the ones who sang that…the first time I heard their song… it just caught me….even a cousin of mine.. who is not into high pitched voice… he hated AT THE DRIVE IN due to the vocals… but this one… he’s just into it… what can I say… the whole package is different…they enjoy their music and the lyrics… it has some mysterious meaning underneath it all….even sanchez the vocalist… loves to listen to their album……

FALL OUT BOY
Last year they were in AP’s 100 bands to watch for 2004 and definitely they are something…. They are bringing back the pop rock genre which was exhausted by linkin park…. I hated pop rock just because of linkin park… I hope they wont end like those freaks….this band has a differnt approach… when it comes to lyrics… it ain’t that deep it… mostly it’s all about love… love … love…..and definitely love…got some angst… the vocals are great… reef and stuffs like that….

SEVENDUST
Though their latest albums isn’t as striking as ANIMOSITY I still love listening to the band with their dropped down chords.. and the vocals… it’s something you shouldn’t miss … their latest album enemy is a little disappointing for me… if you are so used to listening to animosity… but it’s still a great album…

TOOL
Great! dark fucking music….with front man Maynard….

A PERFECT CIRCLE
MEr de Noms… still rocks…the remake of that song by john lennon “IMAGINE”… they played it like tormented fuck…s

NIN
Try listening to a synthesizer and compare it with their drummer…they are the first artist who had a very artistic video…try listening to “perfect drug” you’ll see what I mean when I say that they can arrange one hell of a song….

TEMPLE OF THE DOG
One great band…they san “hunger strike”…..try listening to their record and you wont get tired of listening to it over and over again….

INCUBUS
A crow left the murder is disappointing but I heard they will come out of a new album by this year or next year…. Try listening to “pantomime” I heard it first in ALIVE at THE RED ROCKS… one great song…I have been listening to their music since their science album and every record they produce is worth something…

METALLICA
They perfected METAL…..with the loss of some members….. though they ventured into punk I think by just listening to their album “ST. ANGER”…. Fast beats and the reefs.. it sound a little like punkish for me…(is there a “punkish” word?) hell…”and justice for all” is my first record that I bought on my own…

JEFF BUCKLEY
I know… he’s dead a long time ago… but I just dig his music…last good bye…. Hallelujah…not that song by that band BAMBOO….

JANIS JOPLIN
The drunk addict singing on stage and died in an OD….one great great artist…

JIMI HENDRIX
The man who struck millions of people with his innovative solos and the effects he’s making out of feed backs and I think he is definitely one of the greatest guitarist of all time… RIP….

BOB MARLEY
The most influential artist of all time…. He is somebody… to most Rastafarians he is a prophet…. With his songs… though he is always in dope… it’s in his rites… as a rasta….jah!


I’m tired now… I’ll continue next time… tnx for reading this crap…..

Freaky…freak freak....

I was playing some LAN games at katipunan when I saw this girl wearing black shirt and she was running towards the door and I dunno why… she just caught my attention… fuck… maybe I’m just paranoid…what the hell….

ipis gone wild!!!

Months have passed and I noticed a large number of roaches in my house especially in the kitchen cause I stack my left over in the sink and get back at them after work, and so these plates are piled up and roaches gather up… roaches are so filthy dirty and I have them to be able to get rid of those bastards I decided to get my handy dandy tsinelas and baygon insect spray and I started acting like one of those starship troopers… with sound effects… WHAPAKKK!!! Patay!!! WhaPaK!!! Patay ulit!!!....and finale this afternoon I decided to clean up the house a bit for my own benefit and it would be more booze friendly…and so the roaches were lessened…. Or maybe because I haven’t cooked anything this week…. All I had is the freaking TUNA SANDWICH every breakfast and dinner… cause I maxed out all my money from boozing and food trips….if only roaches can conduct a rally they would start one in my house because they cant find any leftover anymore compared to what they are used to….

80's kid

What can I say I was born in the early 80’s I have to admit I’m getting old... fuck… before I want to get old so that I can watch those adult flicks and now I just want to stop aging and just want to life this kind of life forever….kids nowadays are so so into computer gaming and those stuffs that were so taboo back then… we use to play trumpo (top), holen? (marbles), patintero, taguan, piko and those fire crackers….. as a kid I have been involved in lots of accidents…. I got wounded by a top a couple of times cause I use to sharpen the tip of the nail in a grinder in our factory…. And hell it was sharp so that it can destroy my opponents top… I know it sounds brutal…. that’s how it is…. Then I got myself involved in my first brawl when I was playing marble in the streets… I dunno I just hate cheaters back then… so I punched the other kid and we got back at each other… and I got a nose bleed!!!....nice one….the most exciting thing that we played back then is taguan (hide and seek) due to frequent brown-outs during the Aquino regime. Every time there is a black out every kid in our subdivision is out and we will start playing the freakin game till 12mn….. i have been able to squeeze myself in every possible place that you can hide in that subdivision… I even climbed a tree just to hide myself…. I was pretty thin back then… and I can run fast…. Now… what a stubborn bastard I am….back to the 80’s….i even remember my sis having a fracture from playing piko! Hahahaha….. If you were born in the 80’s you could probably remember the bands like metallica (my first record that I bought), nirvana (who could ever forget that front man who blew his head off in his garage),pearl jam (nirvana hated them), REM (rapid eye movement), stone temple pilots, and other bands…. This was the golden age for music… alternative was born…. Since then I was into music… since then I longed to form a band… sadly it’s a frustration up to now….poor ass…. How come does chuck taylor is so in right now? Since then I always wear those pair of sneakers… and the fucking mighty kid! Hahahahaha I think they started those lights placed in the sole of a shoe….lots of things… that I remember back then….i dunno…. Why am I writing about these things… it just got into my mind………..i have nothing to say anymore….

pissed off this early in the morning....

Last week I was pretty busy doing favors and stuffs…I’m trying to help may cousin on his wedding by fixing up the invitation cause he’s trying to cost cut on some of the expenses so as a last resort he asked me to do it for FREE…. The thing is I have to wake up early so that we can select the materials and things like that… I spent some fucking nights looking for formats and fixing the whole thing…. I have to delay some booze.. the fucking thing why I’m whining about this thing is that they will change the invitation and fuck the girl didn’t even bother to try to put some of her insights about the invitation so when they saw it lots of revisions are to be made the good thing is I wouldn’t be involved anymore and I don’t want to be… this shit about doing invitations happened to me the second time but the first time is worst cause we have been able to print the invitation just to find out that they had it done by another the worst thing is that I have to replace my ink cause it ran out caused by their fucking invitation!!! So you freaks if next year you will ask me to help you… don’t bother asking cause the answer is FUCKING NO!!! I got lots of things to do and I’d rather booze around than get involved in such thing…. If you guys have read this… don’t be mad…I’m just pissed…. Ok?

adik ka noh?  

PART 6

Summer is getting near…. Ohhh fuck where will we have our OJT??? Luckily my friends dad works in UNILAB we got into that company in a snap…. We got into LSD which means laboratory services department…. Since we are just trainees we were always assisted and lectured towards the instruments since I have been able to handle most of the analytical instruments in the lab we have to spend 200 hours in that company as a prerequisite in one of our subjects….in there we have been able to meet iya,juggie,kaye,Rhoda and Jerome they are from UST too but taking up biochem…. Since we are from the same school we have been able to get along easily…in there lots of things happened in a short span of time… some people in there we a little pissed off with me… cause of our different pranks and there was an instance where I was sticking a picture of iya in the fire alarm bell and the head got mad at me cause she said that I might trigger the alarm… I was like…. How stupid is that? The alarm switch is a different thing compared to the bell where I was sticking the picture…. Oh I hate it whenever some sneaky peeps are such a pain in the ass….. there where times that me and my friends will try to OD (over dose) ourselves with vitamins… enervon and those stuffs that we test… we are taking up different medicines all day just because we are bored….i know no one will OD from vitamins cause when your body doesn’t need those things it will drain out with your wee wee…. Hehehe…. There are some instances that we are so full of work that you get so pissed off… but we just cant complain… the most boring part of work in there is the disintegration testing… or dissolution… cause you have to time how long will the medicine be dissolved in water or gastric juice…. Sometime you really have to wait and have to concentrate on it…and it takes hours sometimes.. I hate it…the fun part is making those placebos and there was this one time that I was playing with the aspi\rator and I blew it on my nose forgetting that there are still residues of orange flavoring concentrate and I was smelling orange all day.. I just cant get it off… all the time that I spent in that company is such a blast…. I had so much fun that I overstayed for 3 days hehehehehe… after that I went on with my thesis and I was the only person starting that early it was in the month of may… and I had a quite experience in TARC the building in UST especially made for researches….. most of the time I work alone in the lab and so I experience different freaky things such as doors banging different noise and being stuck in an elevator at night is fucking scary…. I have to admit I was scared but I have to finish the research……after a month it was already used to it…and I should be cause UST is one of the most haunted campus around the metro…. I have to stop here… just because,,,…

whining ass.....

At last been able to have one complete sleep last night and damn it feels fucking good to have a complete rest. I have been longing for this one for a long time, even though we had a very long weekend it sucks cause I have to do favors for other people and have to visit the office one a day to check my samples and I have to go out boozing all night long and I end up going to bed around 4 to 5 am cause when I arrive home I still check my computer just because I am afraid going to sleep with a full stomach without resting for even an hour. I’m gonna miss this type of life since I will try to concentrate on my MS this semester maybe I’ll only go boozin’ during Saturdays cause I still have class earlier that day…. But maybe I can squeeze in some time for boozing at Friday night… last time I just want to get sober but right now I am thinking about alcohol again maybe because I have been able to miss all day yesterday with out drinking any beer or wine. Maybe this can be an opportunity for me to be sober and detoxify myself from alcohol….. this thing became and addiction already…..and I have other things to do right now… and planning to be back in a healthy lifestyle again back to badminton and maybe biking.. just maybe… maybe maybe…. Maybe I should go on a meditation class…..nah… I’ll just do whatever I want…. I like it like this…. But I’ll just try to avoid alcohol a bit… but how? How can I distance myself from it I love going to gigs and I don’t want to end up drinking an iced tea while all other peeps are holding a bottle of light of horse…. Blah blah blah blah….why do I always whine about alcohol… shit….

Going to church….

I haven’t been to church since my parents left… I’ve been in front of it every Sunday when I go to the market to shop for some fresh sea foods….since high school I have this different type of belief not only to justify my laziness when it comes to going to church… I have been always a critique to most practices in the church not only for roman Catholic’s but also in other religions….up to now I still believe it’s the faith that matters and how you deal with your life living with your environment…..all I can say is “stop being a fucking hypocrite!” yeah!!!!… that feels much better…. hahahahahaha

alcohol.. so it is....

Yesterday…. I just realized how much addiction I was into towards alcohol and I ain’t loving it anymore….i woke up around 8 am having a bad hangover from that cuatro cantos I cant find any food so I started cooking and found myself water the plants outside… strange…after I got from checking those water sample that we had the other day I have to rest cause I only had 4 hours of sleep so before I sleep in the afternoon I had few shots of sangria just to feel more better… around 7 pm I woke up and found myself eating pancit, goto and drinking sangria again…that’s one thing that I’m already used to.. having some alcohol beside me while having dinner… that’s why I make it a point to have some wine in my frige just to have a nice sleep….after that instead of having a good feel within it just felt very awkward feeling some butterflies in my stomach and it’s not easy cause I’m on my way to meat shop just because I just want to… we had a couple of rounds of light in the then we moved to this place in maybunga pasig where I had some bottles more. We decided to leave earlier around to cause my cousin is a bit dizzy already and doesn’t want me to drive his van… I dunno why…instead of driving home we ended up playing in blue skies….oh… fuck we played till 4:30am for real I don’t want to leave but I have to rest for Saturday sessions… hahahaa… but I loved that DOTA game….it’s been a while that I haven’t played lan games…and earlier this morning my a call from my sis woke me up and I just cant get myself back to bed so I drove myself towards to office again to read the results of the testing and on my way home a taxi almost crashed on me….I’m such a careless driver… then I passed trough ilocos empanada just to find out they are still close and desperation got into me…. So I only had pork and beans for breakfast…and some eggs and freshly cooked rice….then I had some sleep again….fuck… such an addict…I’m just thinking what will happen to me if I will continue this lifestyle…I might end up dying with multiple organ failure! Stay healthy man…. But I just dunno how….fuck!

YAHOO! Is it geeky?

Eversince I got hooked on to YM, most of the time I’m home I go online to talk to people in my list… to some it’s like a losers past time but for me, I just enjoy talking to my friends and strangers who have different story to tell…I got 192 people in my list and I have to admit most of them are people that I really have no clue on how they look or their real name or whatever about them… in this world all you have to do is to trust the person you are talking to and it’s up to you if you will believe her or not. Most of the time I enjoy having conversations but before me and my friends used to flood those freakin’ chat rooms and we were like hell and we will piss off anybody if we are in the mood and we never had a bad mood every time we are online. But those days had passed already I think I’m the only one left doing this thing… but I just talk to those people that I think that makes any sense… there is this adik she’s a drunkard but fun to talk to… then a chocolate named one who is a moody type of person but nice to talk to when she’s in good mood, then there’s this iamhappy who is such an emo type, then this annoying one and lots more……most of the time I talk to my cousin who lives a house apart from mine, my friends from UST we talk a lot instead of having conversations via SMS we talk here and some friends abroad… YM most of the time is very useful…back then when I was studying in undergrad we study using YM so that we can have a Q&A after we reviewed ourselves and have a conference instead of that old school 3-way… hehehehe….oh.. shit…. I’m beginning to sound like a fucking geek…hahahaha!!!!

So what….

ReAliTy BiTeS…….ArAy!

Before I graduated from college my idea for a starting salary for a professional like would be 20G’s but fuck my first work, they gave me 11 G’s only and take note it’s one of the biggest offer to me at that time and the freaking thing is I transferred to another job that offers only 9 G’s but I don’t put that in my work experience cause it’s such a shitty company and if only I can report that company to DOLE I would in an instant cause the workers are clearly abused and they don’t even a have a protective gear and I just cant stand to work in such atmosphere. Now I’m loving my work at little bit laid back and all the people are nice though it’s only a small company but hell I wont leave this company unless there are some offers abroad but here, I’ll definitely stay here and the good thing is they allowed me to take MS. Out of desperation before I tried the networking biz which most people consider a monkey biz but it ain’t all are legit the networkers themselves are the one’s who don’t have ethics and for that I just lost interest on it, I joined once but shit happens you know. Here I am back to the track keeping such assholes away and just focus on my goals. Yeah sure I wouldn’t earn as much as they do but I am a man of my word not like other people and I just can’t stand making money out of using others I’m just not into such thing. Forget about that shitty topic. Oh well…..beer…. yeah beer is the answer!!!

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