konti nalang magkakasing haba na kami ng hair... sabi nga nila pagupit na nga ako ehh... hehehe.. ayaw ko po....  

pic at cybermall... mukha kaming cra sa gitna ng mall.. puro picture!!!! hehehehe 

blast

for a while i have forgotten about most of my problems.. went out with my friends... though we are not complete..... at least we had fun in a way.... but the rain kept on pouring.. and freak i'm soaking when i reached the mall from the parking lot where i came from.... i only got myslef together after having dinner...my hair was already dried up... but i was freakin full.... it was the first time... i shared my dinner with someone else since.. my parents left.. most of the time i eat alone... here in the house or at the mall...... neks wik ulit! dami nang mali sa spelling lashing na nga ako...

WANTED: ______ __________

I just woke up… I’m not used to this.. got nothing to eat… all is cold… for breakfast I only had some chocolates given to me by a friend yesterday… and freak… I got tons of work load to do…… laundry, cooking, cleaning… practically all house work… the saddest thing is that I only know how to cook… but the other stuffs, I’m not very much used to doing at all….I’ve been filling up my schedule for my everyday routine so that I can be more productive and earn more… but things just keeps on piling up… I dunno what to do.. maybe I need some help.. but I am not that type who asks for help before anything else… just wanna dot things on my own… maybe I could get a gf who can do all!!! That’s a wicked idea… hehehehehehehe.. anyone???

Spontaneity

Being spontaneous that’s what I do… in almost anything that I do… cause you can never tell what’s going to happen next… so all you can do is be prepared with anything.. I mean in everything….. me… I hate doing plans…… just like promises.. plans are mostly cancelled due to millions of freaking reasons….ahh… right now….. I don’t have any plans at all…. I just live by the day… but I have goals.. hehehe.. but don’t have any plans on how to achieve those goals… it sounds stupid to others.. but its all good my life seems to be going pretty smooth everything is starting to flow the way I like it… something might be left undone.. but hell with those… I’ll go where ever I want to… I am the great opposition…. When everyone is clockwise… I’ll go counter... whenever everyone says yes I’ll say no….. trying to go against the flow…. I don’t want to be like others… I don’t want to think like a commoner… I want to be highly spiritual and highly alchoholic… hahahaha… but seriously… I don’t really know.. why do I always want to be on the other side… maybe I just want to experience things that I haven’t encountered before… hail jah!

new life??? nah... crap

Blinded by the light… it hurts more as I get nearer and nearer… is this the end??? Is this my end??? It’s bursting with light…like a thousand rays stinging your eyes….. it burns trough your skin…. I wonder if this has an end… I walk closer… getting weary as I fade away….still cant find the end……

Most people that I have heard about their testimonials that they were brought back from the dead and they saw a bright light while they are gone in this world… all I can say is that it’s crap!... why am I saying this… when a person blacks out…due to accidents… or others stuffs… its a natural reaction of our body… to create this some sort of world while recovering…….our minds create this type of world….. in our unconscious moments we encounter such thing….. an example of this is when a pilot experience too much G-force they black out and experience what some people call nirvana…. I dunno what other people may think about this… but for me…. It’s just it…..

pasilong

When I got off from the mall the rain wasn’t that bad.. but as I get further and further I began to build up….. then I wore my jacket….. I’m kinda soaking wet already.. my hair is wet… and this girl that I walked with offered me to share umbrella…but I refused… it’s not that she’s .. you know… the thing is I’m already near my house… and I’m already a bit wet.. so why bother… and I’m big and the umbrella was right for her petite body…. The point is… It’s nice to see such nice persons… you know.. people willing to help in their own small way…if I were her.. I wouldn’t even bother to offer my umbrella… hahahahaha… I sound selfish… but for real… there are only few chosen people who would do such thing… it’s nice… nothing more…

mga adik magsilabas kayo!!! mga adik ng kolehiyo ng siyensya.... 

mga adik na nakatingala sa kawalan.. naks ayos ng hair! bwaahahaha... 3rd yr ba yan.... mga classmates ko.. si ian tidge at bejieboy... hulaan nyo kung cno cno cla dyan.... basta ako nakasalamin 

Part 5

Continuation of my college escapades…

As I enter 3rd year…. new classmates….. I sit beside with new people… hirap din medyo.. parang first year ulit…dati pure pinoy.. ngayon half Japanese half pinoy.. hehehe… katabi ko.. pero kilala ko naman cya kahit papano…. And eventually nakakakulitan ko na rin.. hhehehe.. madaladal din naman kasi ehh…. And mabait…..pinakabadtip na panahon ITO sa college… kasi naman… putek ung mga barkada ko nasa kabilang class…. Ndi pa sabaysabay ung break.. hirap.. dami ko tuloy absent…. I have to adjust my sked to be able to join them……. Madalas nga akong magisa sa umpisa ehh.. kasi medyo hirap maki-ride sa ibang new classmates.. kasi… medyo bad impression ko sa kanila… (flash back)…… kasi naman.. 1st year nakaaway ko itong isang tao na pangalan sapatos sa enlish.. ayun.. ang corny talaga kasi ehh.. sarap sapukin at pikot ikutin… ayun mayabang pa… naasar nauwi sa away.. 2 kami ng kada ko.. kalaban naming lahat ng lalaki sa kabilang class…badtrip… pero ok lang.. wala naman kaming iwanan nun ehh…. Wala naman kaming paki sa ibang tao kung samahan kami o hindi.. kasi.. since start palang kami na magkasama… ayun.. lahat ng kalokohan.. fudtrip… at iba pa.. pucha panalo yun kasama!!!..... ayun… pero ung nakaaway ko na un.. nakipag bati din… sa pwetster nga lang.. nagmessage pa sakin…. Good naman… humble din pala un kahit papano…. Pero alam ko kasalanan namn talaga naming un… ang laban lng talaga nung panahon na un.. pataasan ng pride..,…. Pride powder.. hehehhe pero wala naman un… cguro ganun lang talaga.. bata p kasi ehh.. medyo mababaw pa kami nun….. back to the story… ayun… mahirap ngang makisama.. kasi pinipili mo lahat ng kilos mo… ayun… pucha… nagging international friendly friends ako.. lahat nalang sinasamahan ko.. kung ano trip nila sakay lang…. napapapunta pa nga ako sa library…. Kaso natututlog lang ako.. habang cla nagrereview……. 3rd year… dun ako nagkaroon ng isa pang tres (3) sa chem. Subject ko… ayun.. ung nauna sa analytical chem…. Kasi naman may measles ako nun.. tama ba spelling??? Anyway…. Ayun tapos ung pangalawa… sa biochem… ung tinethesis ko pa… ndi ko nga alam kung bakit ehh… cguro kasi ang PANGIT nung prof naming… kamukha ni “JOEY De LEON!” take note babae cya… mukhang t-rex… basta ndi maganda…. “WOW MALI” nga tawag ko dun ehh.. ewan ko kung bakit kumalat na sa mga lower years… minsan nakita ko sa pwetster may gumawa ng account nakapangalan sa kanya tapos pic ni joey de leon… putek talaga… hehhehehehe…. Sarap din ng nagaaral talaga… kasi ang dami dami mong pagtripan… ung mga teacher nyo… ang sarap awayin… lalo na pagmali… hehehe… Gawain ko un,…. Lalo na sa math… pero ndi lahat mataas grades ko.. depende sa prof.. naalala ko.. nung 1st year pa ako…nakaperfect ako ng test sa algebra… tapos nawala ung test paper ko tapos buti nalang nakita… natuwa naman ung terror na teacher.. ayun.. close na kami till 4th year..hehehehe… neway back sa topic.. sulat nalang ako out sa relationship between teachers and us sa nxt na pagbblog ko… ayun… medyo masarap na nakakabadtrip ung paibaiba k ng sinasamahan.. kasi ang hirap… paiba iba ng gusto… ayun… tapos ganun.. minsan ndi mo alam… ayaw ka nap ala nila kasama.. nahihiya lang.. cguro… dahil cguro sa personality ko… ehhehehehehe… ewan ko… I don’t think that I made such a character that everyone can remember….all I am was a trash walking around the corridor….. all the time that I spent in UST… I never missed a day that I didn’t sit on the floor along the hallway… even though some profs are against it… it’s just me.. a bum… hehehehe… whenever you see a guy sitting on the floor…. In the middle of the class.. most probably it’s me… I just love looking at people passing by…. Pero hindi ako nangboboso ah… bakasabihin nyo nagboboso ako.. kaya ako nakaupo… sun…. kasi lahat ng girls dun nakaskirt.. at kung ganun man… wla naman akong mapapala dun ehh noh… wala akong paki kung ano mang kulay ng panti yan!!! Makikita at makikita yan tandaan nyo puti ang skirt ng science!!! Kaya wala na akong paki!!!! Heheheh… I think all that I’m saying is kinda off topic… and I’m starting to do taglish… I hate ME…..wait for part 6… hehehehe…..

current news

Just saw the news….pushed the clicker as soon as I got a hold of it… cause it the same stuff.. its being shown over and over again…it’s been weeks that I haven’t bothered to check on the latest news… one day my couz called me capt. Marlon Mendoza….. then I found out that he is a witness or something in another case… I hate my name… too many people who have the same name as mine…. Marlon Mendoza… I applied for my clearance… and I got a HIT… it took me 5 days to get it…. such a waste of time…of all names…. Why marlon… actually my sis gave me this name.. I don’t know where she got this name.. maybe from that god father guy…. Don Vito Corleogne… if I’m gonna have my own children I’m gonna name it lajon if it’s a he and if it’s a girl… uhm.. I haven’t taught about it… wait let me think…Francesca is a nice one….. I’ll think of a nice one… next time…any suggestions??? Post it in the comments… heheheh….

empty

This house feels so empty right now… I feel so uneasy all day… my parents already left.. to some it sounds good… cause we can drink all night… make it into a “casa”.. but for real I don’t care about that… cause I know I will face a new challenge…. That is living alone…. i am definitely LAZY when it comes to house hold work… it suck.. I’m not used to it.. but I have to learn all over again….. I am planning to keep myself busy by doing the other business that I engaged into… in hope it can cover up all the empty space in my life… I thought before we can go all together… but now… I’m left alone.. it kinda pisses me off…. But it’s all good…. Soon…I will follow… got to wait…patience…someday.. soon.. u don’t know fate…got to hold on to it… maybe very soon…………

all we had is dead

There’s nothing to gain from it, so why am I wasting my time… nothing will happen after all the moments and money… maybe it’s just the way it is….. in the end both of are losers… when one cant stand the other anymore and vice versa… there’s nothing to save…. All is dead… as if nothing happened…. Like air that you can only breath but cant hold onto your hand….. nothing to grip… there’s nothing to hold on to…. Move on… stop the misery….no more tragedy…comedy… cant stand it…gotta move........


ayuz!!!

down

Strikes, rallies, impeachment, mockery, corruption, indolence, innocence, fights, blasphemous desires, as long as nothing is true nothing good will happen here in this country… I’m not a pessimist… I don’t hate this country…. I only hate my countrymen no hope…. most of them stopped dreaming for a long time already….. they gave up so early…. So we are left with nothing… burned down government…. Red tapes….it’s like living in hell… you cant see anything right anymore….everyone is part of the syndicate… each and everyone is pulling this country down…..

need

Silence………….
Serenity………..
Peace……….
Reverence………..
Pain………….
Sadness……….
Pity………..
Fierce…………..
Urge……………..
Fuel…………………
I don’t need you…..

wala lang

The day started out well… nice weather but a little bit hot… but this afternoon the rain… it pissed the hell out of me… ah!!! Anakngtokwatalagangbuhaytoh! Anyway my day isn’t as productive as before…I finished all my work within an hour… and I’m bored the whole day I bored myself listening to that station cause I cant change it… everyone in the office likes it but I don’t… fuck. …. It’s the jolog station that u can hear in FX and jeeps…. Badtrip talaga! Yun lang… wala na akong maisip… tapos na… wala nanamang kwenta…

haze iso 400 

look at the moon tonight 

nice focus... walang edit yan! pwede na bang maging pornographer? 

nityalila at 6 underground 

Part 4

How did I survive my college studies…
I don’t study really… I really don’t like writing notes though I write…
But I don’t read it…. actually the reason why I don’t read it is that I cant understand my own freaking handwriting… It sucks for real!!! It’s like a steno… hahahaha…. How stupid it may sound but its true…. I write in sheets of pare for my notes and later that day it will end up crumpled or in the laundry… the only time that I can retrieve it is when my pants are dry…. I’m just not so organized… I am very spontaneous I don’t like to prepare anything for the day…. Especially in reporting… the only preparation that I do is my powerpoint and my knowledge on the topic… but I don’t memorize those words that I should recite infront of my audience… I don’t know how it work for others but one thing that I am sure… I doesn’t work for me… even in my speech class before… I only about my topic and my opinion about it…and that’s it I’m ready to stand up-front and do my thing sometimes it sucks sometimes its al li’l bit good… i don’t know how have I been able to overcome my fear infront of audiences but I was used to it… but still I get those goose bumps…. But once I started and I am confident about my topic and my knowledge on it nobody can stop me…I remember my defense for my thesis.. I really did well.. I don’t know my grade but I am very satisfied with myself at that time… cause I had a very good adviser…and I know every single bit of it… the only thing that might have been a downside of my presentation is my looks… I forgot to tuck in my long sleeves and I didn’t even button it all the way….HEHEHE… that’s me… free spirited punk ass.. if I may say…. Maybe the only key in those types of situation is “be in control”….. hehehehe…. When it comes to quizzes and tests… do I cheat? Yeah hell yeah… especially when I don’t want to open my notes… I cheat…. It’s a part of it…. but most of the time I rely on stock knowledge…. I’m not very intelligent but I can say… if I worked hard before… I might have earned a cum laude…. Nacht! I DON’T CARE………… fuck em! I want it that way…. Its me… I’m pretty bored already… just continue the other part next time…

empty

I cant write anything right now…
My mind is empty….
Maybe just feeling the pressure of being alone…..
It seems like I’m goin to have fun…
Owning the whole house…
Drinking all night…
I can do anything…
I got my privacy…
But I will miss everything…
Food…
The short talks….
Practically everything..
Somehow…
I can be with them again…..
One of this days…
I dunno how to live alone…
That’s the thing that I really hate…
Cleaning…..
Laundry…
But cooking isn’t a problem for me…
I am lazy……..
I dunno…
That’s the trouble in me….

same pic..... 

parang "guns and roses" na album ah! hehehehe 

screech........

110 kmph seems so slow…downhill… pushing it towards its limits… I’m not myself…my body is driving but my mind is out there….. wondering… confused… fucked up…. Suddenly the car in front of me stopped…just like the movies… tires screeching…. quick stir…I just cheated death… just this morning I thought I’d have a good day…. but suddenly something came up… my day was fucked up again… no details needed….i’m just tired of if… every time one problem is solved.. another comes in…. it fucks u again as if you’re a freaking whore…it lie pushing forward back… you just can’t get out of it…it’s like the one you hold on to abandoned you… nothing left…
things keep on happening… in every good new… something will mess it up…is this for real… after that incident… all my thoughts came together….madness came into me…nothing matters….i just want to live alone…I don’t want to worry about other people… my life is so messed up…every time I try to pick up the pieces… someone somehow somebody will crush it again…. I cant find any peace in me… maybe death is the answer.. maybe… just maybe… with it I can find peace within… peace that everyone longs for…

over.....

It’s another day… few hours ago… I was completely wasted…I don’t know what struck me but it must be something… cause it feels good… real good… I’m over it…. gotta sart new… it’s history… part of my past that I just don’t want to look back to…. Well good luck to me…. I got a meeting with my boss a couple of hours from now… nope that I wont be stuck in a traffic jam…

nothing still

i just finished a bottle of sangria but it aint working at all.... i just hate myself... i dont know what to do anymore...... should i go and free myself from this burden???

in the midst of all

Its almost 2 weeks I haven’t had a complete sleep I just cant explain whats bothering me lots of things that is pissing me off…. The situation…. This must be depression…. Maybe nobody around me noticed it… but I’m pretty fucked up already… messed up inside… freaked out… burned… that’s how I can describe myself…. I’m like walking dead..... like a machine… goes to work.. then stops at the end of the day then back again…. I never pictured myself being like this…. I got nothing for myself…. Nothing really… everybody pushes me down…. Its like being a stray dog… I don’t know how it happened but I reached this point… no idea…. I might excel in my field right now… but I’m not myself… not in focus… pieces of me scattered all over… I want this to end… the only thing that keeps me asleep is alcohol….. that’s why every night I go to a convenience store to purchase a bottle or two…. I still have a bottle of wine here….at this point of my life I should be enjoying every second of it… the only thing that’s happening to me is just full of shit…. Lots of angst….. desperate I should say… that me… I just want to get out….get the hell out…..in any way… I just can’t see myself growing…nothings for me… life is bitchy….sacrifices, death, damnation….all in me… shattered….just like a plane that explodes in thin air… without knowing the cause… that’s me.. I got nothing to do…. no one to go to… cause I know no one can help…its an odd feeling…. Its like being on high and nothing is left… but the bad thing is I’m in deep….it’s like being haunted by a thousand soul….making you pay for something you cant comprehend….my life is twisted…so and so….. I just want to go…be a soul…

difference....

Make a difference….. this morning while traveling towards my office I saw an old poor guy… he is trying to fix the traffic in P.Tuazon… I don’t know… that scenery made me think about what I’m talking about….. It just made me think what can I offer to make a difference in this place… I might sound odd because last time I was talking about leaving this place… there’s nothing to argue about if I say that this place sucks… cause it really does… all day I am thinking about things.. things… radical things… anything…at my status right now… I don’t know what can I do… I just feel so selfish… I just wanna get a better life… cause when you stop trying to pursue your goals “wala na..patay na…” when a person feels content in his life… there will be no more effort for him to get better… as I always do “dream big…” there’s nothing wrong about dreaming big….. the only sad thing is that I making a difference is not included in my goal right now… maybe I am just selfish I don’t know…… seeing that man made me think real deep….if he can make a difference in his own way why cant I??? why not change my perception in life… why not focus on humanitarian acts…. Try to be productive…. Be an example maybe??? hehehehe…

death wish

How would you like to die???
May famous people died in different ways….
JFK who died trough assassination….
Kurt Cobain who blew his head….
Jimi Hendrix who died because he was suffocated by his own vomit…..
Bob Marley who died due to cancer and he refused to be treated….
So many ways….
Too many to mention…..
I don’t know really….
How do I like to die???
When I die…
I just want to die smiling…
I want to die feeling fulfilled…
I want to die as a free man….
A man who followed his dreams….
I can’t imagine myself dead and my face smiling while lying in the coffin….
Would you find it freaky?
Until now I haven’t seen any dead person smiling while lying dead….
Would it work for me???
One place I don’t want to die is the hospital…
I just don’t want to die in such place…
I want to die in an instant…
Like a blink of an eye….
Split second then I’m gone…

08-09-05

Hell with this day…. After I got home I decided not to go out anymore…. I just had a pretty fucked up day!!! I’m not in the mood for work…..This morning I went to work and shit happens I broke 2 small beakers and one really big beaker!!! These glasswares are very costly I don’t know if I will replace it or not….and the reagents that I need are not available before I knew about it I am halfway the experiment….this day sucks… it really sucks… well not at all me and my office mates might have the chance to go to US just for a convention…. That’s the best thing that happened today… we received the fax last week but today we decided to try joining it… there’s nothing to loose but MONEY…. That might be the problem… but I know that we will benefit from it… it’s a great exposure…well back in college I love going to seminars that interest me… you know learning something new…. I just love to learn…. That’s why I want to be in a company of people whom I can gain more knowledge and not those people who thinks that they know everything but their brain is as big as a pea… I just hate those kind of persons…. I know someone who is like that well and the freaking thing that pisses me off almost everyday is that their course is more superior than ours…. He tells all those people who are asking about the difference of a chem eng and a chem grad is that a chem eng can take our position but we can take theirs…. I don’t know how to react about it sometimes I just laugh cause looking at his performance he can be grouped with those chemistry freshmen in UST the skills and all the stuffs that comes with it… I don’t know… well just forget about it… maybe it’s just the way he looks at it… maybe it’s just a way for him to feel good about his course…. I don’t know really and whatever that is I don’t care… I really don’t care… all I have to say is that I had a fucking bad day!

i look like an addict.... hehehehehehe............ 

dont stop smoking

Smoking? Is it good? To some it makes them feel good. Some just got stuck with such vice. Have I tried smoking? Yeah, I sure did! Am I proud about it? Hell no…..I dunno… I wasn’t pleased with the effect of it in me…First sip deep sea! Sometimes I still do a little sip of it but my body aint looking for it……And besides I don’t need another vice I am already into alcohol…. I really don’t know the deal with tobacco I don’t know why some people like it…. I smoke when all the people around me starts to smoke… I don’t want to die due to 2nd hand smoking!!! “kaya gaganti nalang ako maguusukan tayo magdamag” but really I don’t like the taste of it the bitter taste of tobacco…. In every smoke u take I kills thousands of cells in your lungs… in every breath you take you inhale toxins in your body… in every bit of oxygen comes the dioxins that will bring you cancer…. I’m not discouraging smokers…. I encourage you guys so that there will be less smokers when your time comes…. Have you ever been in a situation where everybody is smoking and you can’t get out? It’s so annoying.. so what should you do? “if you cant beat them join them!” sip all the smoke and blow! Hehehehe smoke smoke smoke smoke someday you will die because of too much smoking…. Someday your love ones will say to you in your death bed “why smoke too much?” and they will blame you for smoking… don’t be confused I’m not telling you to stop smoking…. Smoke will cause the deterioration of your lungs… from flesh to C-cells…. Red to black…. It’s like painting yourself to black…. Smoke and your life will be cut shorter… smoke and you life will end earlier… don’t stop smoking… who will buy the cigarettes??? Who will consume all the tobaccos, how will those people in tobacco plantations live if you will stop smoking now… smoke smoke smoke smoke… bring pollution into your own body… destroy the temple within you… keep on smoking and suffer in your later days…. Smoke and be a disgrace…. Keep on smoking I’m not against it…. as if I can do something about it….keep on smoking keep living with it soon you will see the difference if you have stopped earlier… and now you are experiencing the difficulties in breathing… don’t stop smoking its too late… too late… your lungs has already given up on you no more hope…. Just continue on what you are doing cause death has taken its toll… I don’t care how long you will stay alive… all I can say is that smoking is one of the reasons why you are dying right now… no I’m not stopping you at all… just smoke and smoke as if it’s the last cigarette on earth… as if it is your last breath… sip it till the filter burns… sip it till there is no more to earn….

nonsene again ang again and again

Here I am again blogging about nothing significant…..
That’s how it is…
Maybe I am using this blog just for an output so that I have something to do after work.
All day you will be stuck in a small room and afterwards the rain will pour on you what a freaking day it is. As usual I went home “wet look” but it’s ok I had my dinner at the mall with a Hungarian sausage sandwich its GREAT!!! I have been eyeing on this certain store for a while now and at last I have decided to try it. I don’t know why now only did I try their treats and its really great!!! And the sales lady is nice too cause in some stores some of those people who are in charge of sales are freaking snob! On time I am purchasing a smoothie from this stall and I thought of playing with their plastic fruit displays and the sales lady got freaking mad at me I mead really mad I was a lil’ bit shocked by her reaction cause its just a petty thing and I was just laughing at her. I dunno what’s the deal with these people maybe that just the way they are I don’t care really. Anyway a while ago I saw this truck and a lancer crush into each other side by side I just don’t get it the driver of the truck might haven’t noticed the red car beside him and them he continued steering to the right squeezing the lancer. I think the damage is a bit big if you’re going to consider the scratch and dents from the fender up to the rear passenger’s door. I was just walking home and then suddenly this car kept on blowing the horn and there it is! Walla! BANGGAAN NA!!! I dunno what happened next.
I’m going to stop now cause it’s not making any sense anymore….

ayuz ba?  

snow??? sa caleruega lang yan! homg lang sa camera yan!!! hehehehe 

nahuli ko oh!  

slums of manila... 

cute feet........... paa ng pamangkin ko... hehehe...parang lechon... 

bulaklak sa hardin ng aking tita... ang galing magalaga noh.... 

is it nice on me? mukhang ayuz ah! 

Part 3

Ayus!

Ano ba sinusulat ko tungkol sa aking buhay nung ako ay nagaaral pa… ayun mga huling sandali n gaming 2nd year…. 2nd sem 2nd year ayun unti-unti na kaming nauubos… naalala ko pa nung finals na… nagtetest ako sa loob ng classroom sa geometry ata un tinatawag ako nung barkada ko sa labas… kasi naman ung gago kong kaibigan sakin binigay ung grade nya sa chem. 102… dun nya malalamat kung debar na sya o hindi pa ayun walangya ndi ako makapag test… kasi bagsak si gago ehh… ndi ko alam pano sasabihin na kick out na sya… ayun.. nakalipas ang ilang minuto nabwisit na ako at pinasa ung paper ko at ndi na tinapos ung test bwisit ehh… ayun sinampal ko sa kanya ung card nya… sabay sabi sakin “APIR!” ayun nakita nya ung grade nanglambot sandali tapos sabay sabi tara inuman nalang tayo.. parang walang nangyari ayun kasalukuyan nagbebenta na cyan g motor ngayon… manager na daw….. pero gago pa rin… hehehehe… ganyan lang kami puro kalokohan tinatawanan lahat ng probs…. Ayuz lang… pagkatapos ng 2nd year madami ang hindi ko na nakitang nakauniform samin… lumpat na kasi sa benilde at PSBA at ung isa sa EAC…. Ayus naman…ung nga lang bihira na ung inuman ndi tulad ng dati na weekly pwede… ngayon wala na… mahirap din kasi iba nanaman pakikisamahan ko… mga weirdo kong classmates… iba ang trip nila iba din trip ko… nung mga 3rd year ako… akalain mo napapanood ako ng TRIP langya talaga…walang magagawa ung mga kasama ko un ang gusto …. Kaya ayun para kang nagtapon ng 100 bucks natulog nalang ako sa loob ng sinehan… dapat sa motel nalang ako natulog nakahiga pa ako… ndi ko naman masasabing miserable ung buhay ko nung nagkaubos ung mga barkada ko… cyempre ndi na tulad ng dating hardcore na tarantaduhan ang ginagawa ko kasi wla nang kadamay ehh… medyo tumino naman ung buhay ko kahit papano… minsan makikita ko ung iba kong barkada magttxt nalang bigla tapos nakatambay dun sa ust din tapos aya ng inuman… cyempre may mga panahon na tatangi ka na din kasi may exams ka kinabukasan… minsan naman mahahatak ka nalang kahit nasa loob ka na ng class mo… lalabas ka kahit andyan na prof mo… para sumama lang sa kanilang tumambay…. Nga pala nung 3rd year pinagrambol rambol ung mga classroom namn langya iba nanaman katabi ko… mabait naman… un nga lang… mahilig mangopya kaso ayaw magpakopya… hehehehe… sa industrial chem nga ehh dalawang set ang sinasagutan ko set A na sakin at set B sa kanya… langya talaga pero ok lang…talagang ganyan tulungan talaga sa class… wala akong paki kung ano man makukuha ko pagkatapos magpakopya kasi wala na akong paki kung mahuli man o hindi… kasi bumagsak na ako dyan dahil sa walang kwentang quiz na nahuli akong nangongopya…. Isipin mo quiz lang un! Tangina ka talaga Nicholas …. Un ang name ng prof na un! Tapos nung inulit ko ung subject sha nanaman ung prof then 1st day nangaral about sa cheating!!! Tarantado pala cya ehh…. Pero ayuz lang naman… wala akong paki… graduate na ako at sya maitim parin…. Hehehehehehehehhehe…. Minsan masarap ang may nalalaman sa pangongopya kasi….. yan ung pinaka means ng survival mo sa studies… pag nakalimutan mo ung sked ng exam tingin mo mahahabol mo ung pagaaral ng ilang minuto lang… pero Gawain ko un na mag aral ng umaga sa school para sa exams kasi ndi ako nakakapag aral pag nasa bahay ako ehh… kaya pag may exams maaga akong pumapasok at dun ako sa rooftop ng main building nagaaral…. Dun ako nagaaral ng ilang oras… ng dalawa hanggang tatlo kasi pag dating ng iba kong kaibigan wala na…patay na… wala nang aral aral magaasaran nalang kami hanggang mag time na…. teka mahaba na toh… next time nalang ulit ung iba… tinatamad na ako ehh… and walang wenta itong mga sinulat ko………

alone again

In a month’s time now I will be living alone in this freaking house, should I be happy or not. I am very envious that all of them will be living abroad already and I will be stuck in here. I just want to get the hell out of this place. This country is a piece of junk I think I should grab any opportunity that will give me a chance to go to other places I really want to leave this country cause its full of shit. To tell you the truth the only thing that is holding me back from leaving this place are my friends and family. Now that they will settle to another place for good I can’t wait to join them. To some people I might sound so depressed or should I say desperate. Yeah I am desperate in leaving this place because it’s fucked up and I don’t believe in this country anymore. The only thing I like about this place is the way of living it’s so laid back unlike elsewhere its very fast paced. I really don’t know what to do now. All I am is a sitting duck in here waiting for a petition or something else I really cant imagine myself being stuck in here. Fuck my life is very miserable I can’t comprehend how other people manage to be contented with their life in here if you’re going to try there is a hell lot of opportunities out there all I need is experience fuck. I really want to leave this place and experience another culture another heritage and live in a better place. Some might say that there is no place like home. Hell no home should you consider this home? Lots of oppression and suffering people around you maybe you should rethink your idealism. I am an optimistic person but from what I can see in our government all I can say is that there is no hope! No HOPE!!! I’m not trying to bring down this country unless good people I mean GOOD PEOPLE will lead this country nothing will happen to us. Until then I will not stop aspiring in leaving this place. When do we change? When can we change? Are we willing to change? Is there any chance that these things will change? I don’t know really… let’s just be hopeful until then… until then life will be much better…

time

Time fly by so quickly lots of things can happen in blink of an eye, a person can die in a split second or you can hurt yourself in a single mistake. Sick isn’t it? But error can’t be a mistake unless you refuse to correct it lots of thing in life that we do results to different outcome some a good and some are bad really bad. Some people resort to drugs in times of depression some take alcohol but in the end the problem is still there those things are just media to divert one’s attention. Different people do different things each is unique in their own way some face their problems head on and some just shy away and make believe that soon it will fade. Problems can be a source of strength or a source of depression which is better? How would you take an opponent? Would you use your strength to fight or use his strength to win. Just like that decisions differ in everyone of us some might think the other way around. How about you? How do you deal with yourself?

But what’s my thing really in here? Nothing actually, these thought fly by my mind once in a while and I try to remember it so that is got something to write about.

inuman

Ayus gabi nanaman ng sabado isa lang ibigsabihin nito….

SABADO NIGHT = ALAK = LASHING = SAKIT ULO

Ewan ko kung bakit madami ang mahilig maglasing tapos pag-gising badtrip kasi masakit ang ulo….
Kung ako sa inyo kung masakit ulo nyo dahil lasing kayo kagabi wag nyo nang idamay ung kasama nyo…..
Pero masarap talagang uminom…
Kung iisipin ko kung kalian ako unang nakatikim ng alak ay nung grade 4 or 3 ata…
Alam ko bata pa ako nung kaso konti lang naman… kalahating bote????
O mas konti pa nun…
Naalala ko may hawak pa akong lobo tpos sa kabilang kamay beer….
Hehehehe..
Gago kasi mga pinsan ko ehh…
Minulat ako sa kalokohan ng maaga…
Tuwing may gathering ung family namin…
May kumukuha samin ng beer tapos tatakbo kami sa isang tagong lugar…
Doon iinum kami…
Hating kapatid….
Pagkainom “ang paet!!! Pucha!!”
Ngayon wala na parang tubig nalang…
Isang pinsan ko lang ung konting alak lang tisoy na…
Yabang yabang sa inuman pero tatlong shot lang tulog na….
Hahahahahahahaha…
Iba iba talaga ang tao…
Sa tagal ng panahon laging mga pinsan ko kainuman ko…
Kasi sila na rin barkada ko dito sa bahay…..
Masaya din kasi close kaming lahat…
And kapit bahay ko sila….
Ang daming maaalala basta lasing ka…
Pagnagiinuman kami kahit paulit ulit ang kwento…
Natatawa parin kami sa lahat ng katarantaduahan naming….
Baka nagiisip ka….
Ndi na kayo nagsawa???....
Minsan oO pero masaya talaga….
Minsan masgusto kong kasama mga pinsan ko kaysa sa iba kong barkada…
Masarap talaga ang alak…..

MS or NOT

Lately I’ve been thinking if I’m going to take up masters this 2nd half of the school year actually its my plan ever since I finished taking up my board exams…. I’m freakin confused at this moment…. I just wanna learn more I don’t want to stuck my self to a BS degree… I don’t have any concrete reason why should I do such thing maybe just for self fulfillment cause I really got a low grade last board exams come to think of it Marlon Mendoza getting a grade of 72% in his board! Fuck… I know I’m not intelligent at all… but I just hate myself cause I should have done better maybe an 80 is worth something… fuck I hate myself….

LOQUY

I just finished downloading a song of LOQUY a local band having a front man in the name of Kevin Roy they sound good… actually I have been listening to their song over and over…. I know they have been together in quite a while but I just have no idea about their songs cause I haven’t seen them live… they really sound different I recommend this band to those rock fanatics and not so much they …. Its just a light kind of rock….I’m planning’ to watch them but don’t have anyone to go with… good luck to me… goin’ to a gig again alone…. Such a loner….

dreams

It’s so morbid things like this happen almost every night things that I can’t comprehend I don’t have any idea where do these thoughts are coming from....
Dreams that sticks in your mind…
It really sucks sometimes you’ll spend the whole day trying to figure out the reason for such dreams or is there any significance….
They say that dreams have meanings sometimes they give premonitions about you’re future or whatever it is….
I just don’t get it…..
I’m such a mess….
I’ll get over it….

ROCO DEAD?

ROCO is dead??? O fuck I voted for him last election I know that he don’t stand a chance against that MOFO Gloria and FJP those two are the top picks one for the literate and the other for the masses… why did I vote for him??? Maybe I just believed in him making a difference in politics…. People from down south said that he cheated during his early days in politics… well everyone who runs for a position cheats in his own way…. Everyone in politics cheats they buy votes they try to win no matter what… seldom do we encounter a politician who is clean!!! I think he can be a good president it’s just my opinion but maybe it’s just his time…

movies

Nice movies…
I haven’t gone to a movie house for quite a while actually not quite a while but for a long time already I think the last movie I saw was “batman begins” well I think to some people it’s not so long ago but for me yes it is! Back then I watch movies about 2 times a week or even more… that’s how I like watching movies and whining how bad some… lately I invested my money on purchasing pirated DVD’s I know that its not an investment at all at least I have the luxury of playing it over and over again and at the comfort of my own home…. You know I have this thing that I do usually during last full shows… I fall asleep at the middle of the film…. So it’s just a waste of money I just watch these films cause I was just invited… but really I’d rather watch it at home…
Just this morning I saw “hitch” I use to have a DVD of it but I haven’t watched it… it’s a nice film really a fun movie I should say….
I have been thinking all night about purchasing a couple of movies this afternoon I just hope it wont rain cause I hate rainy season!!!..... rain rain go away fuck again another day!!!!

shit happens

Shit happens….. have you experienced a really bad day… form the moment you wake up till you go to bed shit comes into you…. Have you encountered such a freakin day???... as far as I can remember this things happened to me more than once… to cite an example it happened back in college… fuck it was raining I have to wake up early cause I still have morning class then I don’t have anything to eat so I have to wait for the food to be cooked then the rain is pouring outside and you get all soaked up until you get a ride to you destination and suddenly you got hit by a jeepney so you have to transfer to another PUV by the time you reach school you are already late and to think that you are still soaked up with rain. Then suddenly you will have your exams and you cant concentrate because you are still thinking about the collision you had on your way to school. And classes go on and on and you’re very much pissed about your day and you keep whining about it until you piss somebody else and pick a fight and on your way home you got soaked up again and its hard to fetch a ride and you will reach home after 3 hours of travel time then your parents are going to get mad at you for nothing reasonable and till you get to bed you’re mind is at rest….. hell of a day….

MAHIRAP ANG MAGISA?

gabi..
ako'y magisa...
pumunta ako sa isang sulok sa may ilalim ng hagdan...
hawak ko ang beer...
ang tagal magsimula....
langya talaga mga walang kwenta....
naubos ang alak ko...
isa pa nga nyeta talaga ang tagal...
mahirap maghintay magisa...
naubos ulit ang beer ko...
hoy isa pa nga....
ayan malapit na...
malapita na akong maihi...
san ko ilalapag ang beer ko...
wag nalang dalhin ko nalang sa kubeta...
wow sarap ng feeling...
balik sa dating lugar...
may mga dumadating...
ang dami nila...
basta ako iinom nalang...
walang makausap...
at ayokong kumausap...
masarap uminom...
isa pa ngang beer!!!...
pang ilan na to?....
cge inom lang wala pa ehh...
ang tagal naman...
pucha ubos nanaman ang alak ko???...
isa pa nga...
ayan magsisimula na...
"excuse moi"...
ayan buti naman...
langya walang kwentang pangkista toh...
ayan tapos na...isa pang beer!!!...
pangbading naman tong mga toh ehh...
oops....
dumaan...
kumuskos...
sorry...
pinilit kong iiwas...
pero sadyang dumidikit...
sorry ulit...
pwe!!!
anak ng tokwa ung buhok mo miss!!!...
ang kapal...
napunta na lahat sa mukha ko...
tabi dyan!!!...
isa pang beer!!!....
ay may naharangan pala ako....
sorry....
yan akyat ka nalang sa upuan mo...
pwe!ung buhok mo nga!!!...
may dumaan...
dumikit nanaman...
sorry ulit...
ndi ko nakita....
buti naman natapos na...
yan isa pa...
huli na to...
isa pang beer....
galing!!!....
ayus ah....
ok pala to ah...
pwe!
putchang buhok yan....
kung nagyoyosi lang ako susunugin ko yan!!!....
putek...
tapos na...
isa pang beer...
uwi na ko...
teka...
yun!!!....
san ba ko dadaan???...
bahala na...
oh!
bakit umikot lang ako...
dun na nga lang ako!!!....
oh..
lasing ka???....
ndi ah....
konti lang naman nainom ko....
cge tulog na ko...
trabaho pa bukas ehh...
oh...
inaantok ka???...
san ka nanaman galing kagabi???...
wala...
may pinuntahan lang...
isa pa ngang beer!!!...

alcohol

Alcohol such a nice word to hear….

Those phrases like:

“tara inuman na!”

“amputah pare wag na tayong pumasok! Inom nalang”

“patayan na toh!”

I miss hearing those things cause they don’t call anymore and everyone’s got a new life on their own.

Back in college we drink like hell

As if there’s no tomorrow

On day we’ll drink a quarto cantos

Then colt on the next

Then another

And another

And another

I haven’t talked to them in a while…

Sometimes I end up drinking alone… with a cup of red wine, a bottle of beer, or a couple of bottles of sangria….

I love drinking sangria… cause its sweet!!! Sarap!!!

Amputahnamanmgapareinumannamantayoulit

“All I can say is that alcohol is still best for addicts like us”

"WAR" by Alan Cole and Carlton Barrett

Until the philosophy which holds one race
Superior and another inferior
Is finally and permanently discredited and abandoned
Everywhere is war, me say war
That until there is no longer first class
And second class citizens of any nation
Until the colour of a man's skin
Is of no more significance than the colour of his eyes
Me say war
That until the basic human rights are equally Guaranteed to all, without regard to race
Dis a war
That until that day
The dream of lasting peace, world citizenship
Rule of international moralityWill remain in but a fleeting illusion
To be pursued, but never attained
Now everywhere is war, war
And until the ignoble and unhappy regimes
That hold our brothers in Angola, in Mozambique,South Africa sub-human bondage
Have been toppled, utterly destroyed
Well, everywhere is war, me say war
War in the east, war in the west
War up north, war down south
War, war, rumours of war
And until that day, the African continent
Will not know peace, we Africans will fight
We find it necessary and we know we shall win
As we are confident in the victory
Of good over evil, good over evil, good over evil
Good over evil, good over evil, good over evil




wala lang... maganda eh! ano paki mo....

r u gonna use it or not??? 

nice buy! got this bag 50% off!!! woshoo.... lahat ng nakakakita na gamit ko to... tinatanong ako.... galing kang baguio??? sagot ko "gago sa mall ko binili to!" 

just saw this pic... my hair sucks.... "jologs look" 

bagay ba sakin maging smoker??? tingin ko hindi eh.... pose pang godfather! HEHEHHE 

inuman nah! 

what now??? 

<=====belief=====>

Suddenly it struck me!!!

Which is which???

Be spiritual???

Or

Be religious???


All my life I have been exposed to chirstianity…. I grew up studying in a catholic school from kinder till college…. From Marist to UST…. All through out my course in life I had lots and lots of questions… why do these people go to church to cleanse their sins and the next day commit them again… they are all bunch of hypocrites… I see these people all the time not only from roman Catholic but also from born again peeps, iglesia ni ___, Muslim and many more… I dunno…. Every time these kind of people ask me what do I believe in I will reply to them with a li’l bit of smile and they will ask me “ARE YOU AN ATHEIST???” then I will not answer back… cause I just DON’T wanna be like them… a self righteous being….. Everyone is entitled for their opinion… but don’t you just get it? Why don’t you learn how to respect other people’s belief cause I know your faith should be doubtless… but get a life and start looking at yourself and then try to reinvent it!!! All my life I have been asked to join this or that religion well I just don’t get it… all of them are the same… some of them believe in saints some don’t… some do the cross sign some kiss the floor and many more… and they will say that they are pretty much active in their church or that….. I don’t care in the end it will sum up to “how’d you lived your life” and that’s how people will remember you… I don’t know why do I blog about this.. maybe I’m just pissed off… ever since… I believe in different things and I try to avoid having an argument about my belief maybe because I just don’t want anybody questioning you about your faith… the truth is I try to live my life more spiritually…. I have been trying to mix all the idealism of the different religions and beliefs like the basics of buddism, Rastafarian faith, Catholicism, and more…. For me doing that will make you a better person than who you are… as I remember Gandhi saying “Christianity is a very good idealism but the Christians are the ones who are destroying it’s reputation” (it just sounds like that I don’t know the exact words) I believe that one…. because I saw most of the flaws of being in the roman catholic and being a born again… they may call me a back slider or whatever… I don’t care anymore… they just don’t have a life… all they think about is how make themselves feel good at your expense…. That’s life… that’s reality…. Just live with it!!!

Everyday I try to believe what it is that I do believe soon I will benefit from it… maybe not on this lifetime but it will come…..